Saturday, June 23, 2007

My Recurring Problem

I will be 29 years old in a couple of months and what have I learned about myself? Have I developed? Am I stronger?

Bangkok gay community is very harsh. I do not remember getting disheartened as much as this when I go out with guys. Am I taking people too seriously? Am I expecting too much? Only my true friends can answer these.

While chatting with a friend yesterday I realized that I know I am smart. I know that I handle people well as a leader. I know I can do great tasks by myself. I know I have given a lot to the gay community I have left in Manila.

But there is one thing in the past that can never escape or so it seems. Sometimes I do think that I am a good-looking guy. But sometimes I also think that I am an ugly guy who does not deserve attention.

Everyone has their recurring problems. And this is mine.

1 comment:

mossgreen said...

i think you're not a goodlooking guy in the standards of thai gay men, especially those in bangkok who lean towards chinese men. add the language barrier and the feeling of being excluded and unnoticed is doubled. but i guess you still have your fair share of men in the city because foreign gay men love dark skinned guys.

take care and keep smiling!