Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Missing my father

Here is a photo I took while my father was in my mind. It was taken at Changi Airport's butterfly exhibit. It brightened my mood and helped me escape from the dread of seeing the lifeless body of my father.

I am sure my mood will pick up eventually but right now, I hope it is normal to still feel the loss.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Confusing Christmas

Here is a video of my family in Pasig City. We went there to watch the puppet show sponsored by the government but we were told there wouldn't be any that night. In Tagalog, you would hear us discuss what we were going to do: do we cross the street or do we go to the carnival?

After spending weeks in the hospital and funeral chapel, the entire family was clueless of what is in store that Christmas. We did not know what time the church services were. We did not if there were any fireworks display.

We ended up going to church and waited for two hours before the Mass started. Oh well, it was better than walking aimlessly on the streets.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Letter I Sent Two Weeks Ago

Dear Uncle Tom,
I am sorry that it took a long time to respond to your email. I actually found both of them in my spam mail folder.
Thanks for the touching description of my father. He is a huge part of my life as well: I have always tried my best to be like him. He was selfless and compassionate. He sacrificed his own needs just to make sure that all three of us have a proper education—something that I know he wanted but could not have because he had to help raise a big family.
I know he loved me and my partner. My last memory of him is him showing off my partner Steven to all of his friends. My only regret is not taking him to Adelaide with us for a visit. He was supposed to catch blue swimmer crabs with us and do some line fishing. I was supposed to show him our home and my job (educating disadvantaged adults). I was supposed to show him that all of his sacrifices have paid off.
My Tatay was very fond of you. He called you his best friend. I am sorry that he is gone.
I am in grief but I know he is in a better place and I have to continue striving to be like him.