Saturday, December 1, 2007

Beowulf (movie)

I watched this movie because I studied the book when I was still in the university. I remember my old teacher reading the lines of the original text and translating it to us in modern English afterwards. Unfortunately, I have studied so many books in my life that I have forgotten most of them. "Beowulf" is one of them.

So why did Robert Zemeckis decide that everything should be CGI. I actually do not know. Most of the characters are still stone-faced even the most realistic one (Grendel's mother). The queen is so lifeless that she looks like someone who had an overdose of botox. I have to admit that Beowulf's war-scarred body is delectable. I cannot help but laugh at how hard Zemeckis tried to hide this hero's dick from the camera.

So many of the performances were lost because of this technique. Hair looks very fake. Angelina Jolie's flotation devices (boobs and lips) were scene stealers though. I am sure Zemeckis can make a movie out of those body parts. How I wish he just used the real actors for the human parts. For me, Gollum is still the most convincing CGI character on film.

The audio is also problematic. Many of the voices were drowned out because of background noise. The conversation between Grendel and his mother were unintelligible. I am sure they were speaking English but the artificial echo renders the scene practically useless.

Should people give it a miss? Yes. Very few people know about Beowulf's tale anyway.

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