Sunday, April 29, 2007
Am I Beautiful?
I am sure I am not the only one asking this question. Underneath this question, I am also asking what I deserve. Should I settle for something or someone that I do not like because I think that I do not deserve better?
All my friends know that I have always been insecure with how I look. I would like to believe I have improved a lot. I have already approached guys in bars or in discos.
But then sometimes I do not approach guys that I like because I think they are better looking than me. And most of the guys I have a liking for (I consider) better-looking than me. There are times that these "better-looking" guys are blatant in showing that they are interested with me and yet I do not give in. I tell myself "this guy must be playing with me...how in the hell can he like me?"
Some of my friends tell me that this insecurity might be good for me or else I would be one of the gay men in this world who thinks that the world revolves around them. But then I think I am missing more than fucks or friends or boyfriends. I think I am missing more.