Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Seven months in Bangkok

I have been living in Bangkok for seven months now.

Do I know more about this country? I am not really sure. Only Thais can judge that.

Do I know more about my country? Yes and I can now appreciate its uniqueness. I thought the Philippines is Westernized but it is simply Americanized.

Do I know more about myself? Well, I have a very good idea about myself before I flew here. But the period I have been here just reinforced the things I know about myself. I have known for years what kind of people I like and dislike.

Sometimes, I am with people I do not like and I am with them out of loneliness and desperation. Sometimes, I ignore my gut-feel because I just want some company. And then I end up being sorry for spending some time with this or that person.

It can be very lonely out here and it is hard to make real friends. It is hard to make friends with Thais because of the language barrier and they know very little about my country. It is hard to make friends with the expats (most of which are Westerners) because they see me as a prey and not as an equal.

I am really really hoping that I am surrounded right now with people who are going to be my real friends.

No comments: